A Heretic's Lament at the End of the World

"Where do you find hope in the Book of Revelation?" After a lifetime spent in a near-constant state of panic over "the Second Coming" and "the fate of my eternal soul," my answer should be "absolutely nowhere." But it isn't. Somehow. The generation that raised me recalls the sense of anticipation and anxiety surrounding Y2K; meanwhile, I was invited to a virtual "Party at the End of the World" on December 21, 2012, the day when many believed the Aztecs predicted the end of the world as we know it. The notion of "the Apocalypse" captivates many, and that sense of anticipation, fear, excitement, and dread is all too familiar for people who grew up within Evangelical Christian communities -- especially those who describe themselves as "exvangelicals," former members of this conservative, fundamentalist movement. Instead of having a vague, abstract sense of panic in the face of current events, those raised in Evangelical spaces are more often than not intimately familiar with specific prophecies about exactly how the world might come to a fiery end, rooted in complex eschatologies and meticulous interpretations of the Christian Bible. Yet the same pursuit of knowledge that leads to the construction of faith that feels unshakable can also lead towards Deconstruction, the process of questioning one's own beliefs and preconceived notions in the pursuit of a faith that feels genuine. And while many of us leave Church spaces entirely, and others find ways to reconcile the contentious aspects of the faith they grew up with, many of us find ourselves caught somewhere in the middle -- the rebels, the contrarians, the reformers, the heretics. Those who refuse to abandon the institution that shaped us while also refusing to be complicit in the harm that this institution has inflicted and continues to perpetuate. Those who ponder the question "what would Jesus do?" and remember that flipping tables and disturbing the peace was -- and continues to be -- a viable option. A Heretic's Lament at the End of the World is a poetry collection that aims to provide one answer (among billions) to this question of finding hope in the midst of chaos and devastation, the beginning of an ongoing conversation that takes place at a table where all of us belong.