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Millie McBean is so excited to meet her baby brother. She can't help but think about all the brilliant things they're going to do together. However, when Rudy arrives he only wants to do one thing - cry!

Another collection of strange conversations about oddly specific subjects from the hand of Scott Tierney. What would an Orlando Bloom cake taste like? Would Bruce Willis spit in Leeloo's face? Who cleans up the Starship Enterprise's Holodeck once you are finished? These and other similarly pressing issues will be rigorously discussed.Pointless Conversations: The Expendables.In the fourth issue of the comic series all about the pointless, it's offbeat film references aplenty, with Robin Hood, The Expendables, and some surreal cake talk (not just any cake talk...SURREAL CAKE TALK!...yeah...). Loud explosions and incoherent old men...a better title for The Expendables? Was the King of England a lion? Maid Marion a child killer?...yes! What would an Orlando Bloom cake taste like? * * * Pointless Conversations: The Fifth Element In the fifth issue of the comic series all about the pointless, the film and cartoon related topics for (not very) serious discussion are Batman button mashing, the Queen atop a robotic polar bear, and of course the insanity which is The Fifth Element. Batman button mashing...does every switch in the Batmobile do the same thing? Captain Planet gets taken down a peg! The Queen on the back of a robotic polar bear? Would Bruce Willis spit in Leeloo's face? * * * Pointless Conversations: The Big One: It's the question that has dogged scholars for a millennia....what actually happens when you take a poo on the Star Trek Enterprise's holodeck? In the sixth issue of the comic series all about the pointless, it the one that got everyone talking - the Star Trek special!: Why is there a 'P' in pterodactyl? Who cleans the Holdeck once you're finished? If you eat holo-food, would you do a holo-poo? Would you drink Odo? *Disclaimer* This issue is rather immature, and if you are easily offended by "rectal forcefields" and "poo quiche" (not to mention an almost infinite number of "poo"s) then this issue isn't really for you...but if you do find these funny, then you are in for a real treat!

Pointless Conversations: Riker vs GastonIt's time to nail your colours to the mast (or tie them? ...latch them on? ...whatever) as two juggernauts of masculinity go head to head in a battle to find the ultimate male role model. Who's your choice: Star Trek's Commander Riker; bearded, sexually unstoppable seducer of gods, or Disney's Beauty and the Beast's Gaston, with his square jaw and catchy theme song? A tough dilemma, so read the in-depth discussion, including: Herculean muscle-pumps! David and the Goliath...the truth is told! Witty one liners from biblical characters. How does a genie have sex? Pointless Conversations: Armageddon Time for Armageddon! ...the film with Bruce Willis, not the cataclysmic event... anyway, on the docket are: Why a dirty bum is a small price to pay for financial security. If the Flake is a chocolate bar for women, what's the male equivalent? Why does confectionery go out of date on a Saturday? Drilling a hole and dropping some nukes? Really? Pointless Conversations: Killing Buzz and Woody Here's a packed conversation with more subjects, topics, boar-munching and off-kilter ramblings than could be possible listed ...although I'm about to do that right now... If you chopped off his head and then threw him is a blender, would Toy Story's Woody, die? Forget Captain American, here's Captain Jesus! Who wins: Jesus or Chuck Norris? Talk of X-Men, then a final Asterix-style banquet, complete with boar! This book contains plenty of (allegedly) mature and (definitely) offensive content, so please do not purchase a copy if you are offended by… ummm… anything, to be fair.

Pointless Conversations: The Collection - Volume 3: Are You Going to Heaven? The Red Morph or the Blue Morph? And What IS Mr. Bean?Pointless Conversations: Are you Going to Heaven?In the seventh issue of the comic series all about the pointless, the good-natured (if slightly blasphemous... make that very blasphemous) jocularity continues as the conversation turns to 90s children's film Dennis, cult horror Bad Biology and other such nonsense: Would you chop-off your willy if it was a drugged-up killer? Is watching Walter Matthau eat paint amusing? Who carries your luggage to heaven? Pedognomes...that's right, PEDOGNOMES! *** Pointless Conversations: The Red Morph or the Blue Morph? In the eighth issue of the comic series all about the pointless, it's more of the same pop-culture pwning, with Indiana Jones 4, The Matrix, and other such tittles: Morph genocide...it's never funny, especially when Tony Hart screams himself to sleep at night (shame on you for laughing...*snigger*) Impromptu impressions of Indiana Jones 4 characters What happens when you take a poo... IN THE MATRIX? What would happen if you took both the red pill and blue pill at once? *** Pointless Conversations: What IS Mr. Bean? Here we are at issue nine, and we come to a truly massive topic... What is Mr. Bean? It may sound like a daft question, but really, what is he? Where did he come from? Why is he here? Why is a grown man still sleeping with a teddy bear, if not for an acute mental illness? You need answers, you need to read Pointless Conversations: What is Mr. Bean? and I need to avoid a court case with Rowan Atkinson! Should Mr. Bean be allowed to drive if he's... urm... 'brain-broken'? Why do we laugh at a handicapped man pouring boiling water into his mouth? Are we a sick and twisted people? What is that title sequence all about? Is Mr. Bean really from space, or a servant of God? Alternate opening titles...(for mature/unbalanced readers only) In case you are in any doubt whatsoever, there is a whole boatload of (supposedly) mature content within these pages. You have been warned…

Pointless Conversations: The ExpendablesIn yet another absolutely pointless conversation, it's offbeat film references aplenty, with Robin Hood, The Expendables, and some surreal cake talk (that's not just any cake talk... SURREAL CAKE TALK! Yeah!). In store for you this time are: Loud explosions and incoherent old men... a better title for The Expendables? Was the King of England a lion? Maid Marion a child killer? ...Yes! What would an Orlando Bloom cake taste like? Pointless Conversations: The Fifth Element In this fifth issue of the comic series all about the pointless, the film and cartoon related topics for (not very) serious discussion are Batman button mashing, the Queen atop a robotic polar bear, and of course the insanity which is The Fifth Element. Batman button mashing... does every switch in the Batmobile do the same thing? Captain Planet gets taken down a peg! The Queen on the back of a robotic polar bear? Would Bruce Willis spit in Leeloo's face? Pointless Conversations: The Big One It's the question that has dogged scholars for a millennia.... what actually happens when you take a poo on the Star Trek Enterprise's holodeck? In the sixth issue of the comic series all about the pointless, it the one that got everyone talking - the Star Trek special! Why is there a 'P' in pterodactyl? Who cleans the holodeck once you're finished? If you eat holo-food, would you do a holo-poo? Would you drink Odo? With a significant amount of offensive content, this collection is not suitable for... anyone.

If you own a C64 and tinkered with it, you will definitely enjoy this book.I have collected a large collection of tips and tricks, hardware, useful software and many other interesting internet links for the Mini.Retro Games has answered my every question and covered every topic. As a result, a lot of official answers went into this book.The software solutions I present here will make it easier to use and extend the Mini with a variety of new games compared to the possibilities you have using the original menu. I mention some tools and tricks that make loading new games from an USB stick much easier and I will show you how you can use all your games from almost all Commodore file formats on the Mini.I found and interviewed dedicated users who took the Mini apart and analyzed the hardware. What gave birth from tinkering with the hardware is the information from which you now can benefit. For example, you can learn about the joystick and USB compatibilities, why delays can occur between a joystick action and the screen display and what you can do about it.Slightly more complex changes of the system are also possible e.g. you can change the music menu, which seems dull at first, but is technically somehow more difficult to implement than you might think.I do hope that you will find a lot of suggestions to revive or deepen your love for the C64 in this book and that you will have a lot of fun playing and experimenting with it.

Venna's Planet is the story of a beautiful woman who tired of shooting aliens, yearns to settle on the new world over which futile war is being fought. However, her decision to join the planetary teams upsets her superior officer, sometimes known as The Countess, who is obsessed with her one-time protégé, and orders her to be abducted, an operation so badly undertaken that its consequences reverberate throughout the entire story.Our heroine is captured and subjected to a process intended to rob her of her very humanity, and within a short space of time, everything she thought she knew is turned inside-out and upside-down.Venna finds herself lost on Promise - the name given to the new planet - and, with a group of new friends, is pursued by menaces from all quarters. Compounding these threats, the otherwise Utopian world is home to terrifying monsters of unfriendly disposition... and at least one tribe of murderous indigenous inhabitants who are very unhappy about the invaders from Earth.Nobody knows the whole truth about Promise,or what plans are being laid by the colonists. Venna knows only that terrible danger hides in its beauty, and that its secrets will not be learned easily.Broken Promise is the first part of the story of Venna's Planet, which takes for its inspiration, pre-war movie serials, classic newspaper strips and vintage science fiction pulp cover art. Glamour is favoured over realism of any kind, and Venna spends much of the story in minimal dresses and bikinis; however, this is usually outside her control, and one should not consider her to be in any way immodest. She suffers many tribulations, but always comes up smiling, and ready for whatever else comes her way.Venna is beautiful throughout, and refuses to be embittered by the dreadful things that happen to her on this troubled planet. Her planet. Venna's Planet.

Puglia is a developing tourist area in Southern Italy that is beginning to attract tourists to its varied charms. No longer just a terminus for departing to other destinations it is becoming appreciated for its own attractions. Originally a humble farming region, Puglia has been influence by Greeks, Romans, Normans and Byzantines who each made an impact on the landscape by building ports, churches and other magnificent buildings.This book aims to give the tourist an opportunity to visit and enjoy not only the few major attractions that a guided tour usually includes but many of the other interesting sights that many people do not see. By providing five different walking routes and detailed information about each attraction passed it puts a visitor to Puglia in charge of the time spent at any particular place rather than having to rush and keep up with a guide or join costly tours.The tours will enable you to experience the variety and atmosphere of some contrasting destinations in Puglia. You will be surprised to discover the rich historical monuments of Brindisi and astounded by the Baroque architecture of Lecce; you'll marvel at the unique construction of the Trulli of Alberobello and be transported back in time when exploring the Sassi of Matera.

Malcolm doesn't want to use the trampoline at first, but seeing all his friends have fun makes him want to have a go. Malcolm and the Trampoline is a brand new Happy Go Hopscotch story, about friendship, being active, and trying new things.

In a fairy tale town by the edge of the woods, Red Riding Hood skips to the shops. She'd better be careful if M'Grady's about or she might end up as Red Riding Hood chops. Mrs M'Grady has no friends, only foes and she won't go out of her way to do favours. M'Grady's a mean old lady, set in her ways, And she plays havoc with the neighbours!

Errol has a problem. He has a monster that follows him wherever he goes. Errol wants it gone - but how do you get rid of a monster?

Maisy has never learned to `catch her cough'. Why should she when it gets in the way of all the fun she's having?But Maisy's cough escapes and starts wreaking havoc. Now Maisy must CATCH HER COUGH. No matter how difficult that may be...

This early material consists of poems which have a certain amount of adolescent angst and concerns for the future, together with social observations which are still relevant today. Inspiration for the collection came from such avenues as being unemployed in a recession, unrequited love, war, friendship and social interaction.

When Charlie's ice shelf splits in two, the little polar bear heads out on an adventure around the world to find out what's causing the problem.

What should you do when you get lost? Binx Lost in France is the follow up to Binx the Jinx - fun stories for children with important messages to help them day to day.

"Some mums are small and dainty. Some mums are tall and elegant. My Mum stomps around the house like a baby elephant!"

Hoping to find a way to move on from the sadness that threatens to overwhelm her life, young widow, Betsy Abbot, moves to Alderney to manage a small bistro. There she meets and falls in love with charismatic Guernsey yachtsman, Allain Laubert, but once again Betsy's life is devastated by sudden tragedy.

Roberto's Readable Rhetoric is a cascade of jokes and funny stories, witty sayings, comical rhymes and, here and there, the most appalling puns. As might be expected, beautiful blondes, Irishmen and vicars rub shoulders in these pages. This small compendium of jokes is written in a spirit of fun to appeal to ordinary people.