Böcker av Shelley Stokes

This book is about exploring the dimensionalities of who we are as we strive to communicate the deeper aspects of our being. Giving creative voice to "e;real-self expression"e; requires our establishing true communication with a deeper consciousness within us - a turning inward to capture and seize the thoughts, experiences, emotions, and myriad of memories that reside inside our mind - to push beyond the limitation of words and to stand in the spaces between what may seem to be inharmonious aspects of our self to find synchrony. This is the gift of our psychic symphony. The only question is one of what we will compose. Sherron Lewis and Shelley StokesThe authors, Shelley Stokes, Ph.D. and Sherron Lewis, LMFT, have been pursuing a conceptual, clinical and experiential exploration of the many dimensions and phenomena contained in the human struggles inherent in knowing, being, expressing and living as an expression of SELF that is more REAL and less a manifestation of distorting, inhibiting, fear inducing and submissiveness to accommodate to the perceived demands and expectations of external forces and emotionally important relationships. In this, their latest effort in this endeavor, they continue to employ a methodology that includes clinical theoretical formulations, neuropsychological findings, poetic and philosophical offerings, spiritual references, clinical therapeutic vignettes, and personal reflections. Throughout their writings, Lewis and Stokes, creatively share aspects of their own personal explorations and reflections on their journeys to greater self-authenticity and freedom of expressions of the self. In fact, it is through their use of personal self-disclosures, that they offer the reader a form of interpersonal experiential intimacy in teaching and encouraging the same in the reader's journey of self-discovering and expression, thus making accessible to the reader, especially the non-clinical professionals, a greater access to integrated knowing through concepts, emotions, reflections and experiences. Through this unique approach, the authors engage in a powerful means of communication by inviting the reader to personally engage in the demanding, complex, exciting, energizing and releasing effort to get beyond habitual ways of being in finding, creating and expressing that which has been waiting to be brought to greater fruition in REAL-SELF expression. Errol F. Leifer, PhD., ABPP ABN FABNSherron Lewis is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Northern California. She specializes in individual and interpersonal conflict and personal development. Her theoretical orientation is a blend of psychodynamic, attachment, and family systems theories. She has enjoyed conducting many workshops on a variety of topics relating to parenting, shame, and real self-expression. The focal areas of her practice are: individual, couples, and family therapy, multilevel intervention, and clinical consultation. She also has enjoyed being a freelance artist for the past thirty-five years. Shelley Stokes is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Northern California. He received his certification in psychoanalytic psychotherapy from the Masterson Institute in 1994 and has had a long-standing practice treating adults and families. He has conducted many workshops and taught extensively on a variety of topics related to understanding and treating disorders of the self. In addition to coauthoring three recent books with Sherron, his other writings have included Disorders of the Self: Advances in Diagnosis and Treatment of Borderline Personality Organization, Non-Pathologic Object Use in the Process of Therapeutic Change: Winnicott Revisited, and The Culturally Different Patient in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy.

Shame influences more of our thoughts and actions than many other emotions. Used as a punishment for bad behavior, shame acts as an incentive for us to behave in socially acceptable ways. As a common method used to regulate children's behavior, shame is by far one of the most pervasive socializing agents. Many of our more persistent, punitive, and critical feelings about ourselves stem from humiliations in early childhood even if we don't remember the specific events that prompted them.While we all experience shame from time to time, when shame becomes toxic, it can play a central role in our life-long development and functioning. At its worst, shame can become a devastating attack on one's personhood and a threat to the integrity of the self.Many books on shame and the process of healing have been written, but few have been written specifically from a psychodynamic depth psychology perspective. It is intended that The Trauma of Shame and The Making of the Self will make an important contribution to that effort.Shelley Stokes, PhD, and Sherron Lewis, LMFTAuthors of Letting Go and Taking the Chance to be Real (Lewis and Stokes 2017)

Who are we really? The image we have of our "e;self"e; is derived largely from our experiences of who we are, from who we would like to be, and from who we are told we are by others. It is a sense that changes over the years that begins to develop in early childhood and grows (or is stunted) through experimenting and testing in early relationships and later relationships in life, composed of various images which we strive to integrate over time. It is that core "e;someone"e; who we often may suppress for fear of ridicule, or loss of support, or fear of failure. Lack of active support for us to express our "e;real-self"e;, especially in our early years, often leads us, as adults, to feeling unsatisfied, frustrated, and neglected--trying "e;so hard to be all things to all people,"e; "e;doing what is expected or required"e;-and no longer being sure of what is personally meaningful. And we fail to realize that expressing our real feelings and needs is not the same as being narcissistically entitled. Thus, expressing the real self takes courage and requires a healthy sense of self-esteem, self-efficacy, and agency, and involves capacities for closeness, intimacy, creativity, self-soothing, and repair. Many of us are afraid to take the chance. That is why this book was written. Letting Go and Taking the Chance to be Real is about the processes involved in becoming real again or perhaps for the first time. -Sherron Lewis, LMFT and Shelley Stokes, Ph.D. "e;Sherron Lewis LMFT and Shelley Stokes Ph.D. have accomplished what few other authors have, namely, they have written a book that is at once both profoundly practical and, at the same time, firmly anchored in rigorous psychoanalytic theory regarding disorders of the self. Their work is replete not only with insightful clinical anecdotes, but also with courageous and deeply illuminating revelations of their own emotional lives, by which they model for their readers that authenticity which is an antidote to the toxic shame both which keeps our patients' false selves perched precariously in place and which makes us less effective as therapists. This product of their collaboration, a combination of many years of experience and clinical wisdom by two master clinicians, is a superb gift to the psychotherapy community and is essential reading for every therapist."e;-Avak Howsepian, MD, Ph.D., Psychiatry and Neurology, Veterans Affairs Central California, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, Univ. of California, San Francisco"e;This new book by Sherron Lewis and Shelley Stokes represents the latest synthesis of James Masterson's work, integrating it with other contemporary writers in a way that results in a practical guide for both the lay person interested in personal growth or the clinician on the critical subject of becoming your real self. It's a very engaging and meaningful book, a must read!"e;-Joseph P. Farley, MFT, Director of the Masterson Institute