Böcker av Juli Flintoff

The psychological onslaught of torment enveloped her in a veil of darkness as the same mind-bending scenes play on a relentless loop every time she closes her eyes. The secrets Cassandra Matthews has been forced to keep are suffocating the very life blood out of her, leaving her utterly incapacitated. Alone with her despair, lost in the bleakness of helplessness, and invisible to those around her, she is unable to function effectively. Exasperated at feeling like a pinball being propelled back and forth, desperate for someone to listen, she threatens to confess all that she knows just to quieten the demons within. Like a starter pistol commencing a race, Cassandra Matthews' warnings shift the gears into place, igniting a 'survival of the fittest' mode and stimulating her assailant's drastic actions. They may think they have covered their tracks, but a face at the window holds the truth and will stop at nothing to ensure they pay, tenfold. The sins of the guilty may quieten their ears and allow them to sleep in blissful ignorance, but the puppet master is biding his time, planning his retribution. Through the unpredictable and intricate web woven from their deceit, he will cast his net to inflict upon them a destructive path of human suffering they never knew existed. The stranger in the shadows will decide upon the time, the place, and the punishment; then, there will be no mercy.

My cold, soaked, naked body was exposed, and I immediately knew I was in danger. As my lip began to quiver and involuntarily protrude, I became drenched with an overwhelming, instant yearning for my mum. Yet no sound would escape my mouth, so I stood there cornered like a mouse surrounded by the steal of a trap set to spring at any moment just waiting to secure me in its unforgiving clutches. My startled, fearful eyes only minutely reflecting the implosion that had just been detonated within my inner sanctum. I was rigid with fear as my body stiffened; my mind silent offering no guidance to navigate its way to a place of safety. I was defenceless, weak, alone and oh how his salivation seemed to intensify. This was one of those acute moments in time where the lens ultimately sharpens its focus and the shutter snaps rapidly. The question is: had you orchestrated this moment to quench your sordid desires and are you about to make the most heinous decision that will manifest into a lifetime of Blame, Shame & Guilt? I close my eyes and silently pray that I will be spared the torment.

In this gripping autobiography, I share my experience of holding on when everyone else let go. With every ounce of strength, I gripped tight, silently screaming on the inside, unable to surrender or relinquish my right to live my own life. Despite the choices of those around me, I had none of my own. My sanity teetered on the edge between a frenzied, rabid dog and an existence of task-oriented groundhog days. I didn't recognize myself, yet the merry-go-round kept turning, and I couldn't step off. I had already witnessed more than my eyes should have seen, but leaving wasn't an option. The reason why? She devoted her life to protecting me from bullies, silently absorbing their scorn. Now the tables have turned, and it's my turn to protect her. No matter the cost, I vowed to love her, keep her safe, and give her my undivided attention and lifelong support. We're in this together, no matter how long it takes.