Böcker av Darren Bane

Christmas! Cut-throats! Cribbage??!!??Christmas is coming, but the season of goodwill has bypassed pub landlord Ted Edwards. A critical review in a best-selling travel book adds insult to infamy and threatens to be the final nail in the coffin for Ted's troubled alehouse, where the regular cribbage league context is the social highlight of every week.A prophetic premonition leaves Ted with a stark choice: call 'last orders' for the very final time or mind his miserly ways, embrace his hostelry's history, make peace with his family's pirate past, re-capture his Christmas spirit and save his beloved bar, prompting a pub 'treasure hunt' like no other...Yo Ho Ho Ho! is final part of The Jolly Roger trilogy, three stand-alone stories concerning a fictional pub and its clientele. The first book in the trilogy is The Big One and the second is Uncle Prawn.

Darren Bane adds insult to infamy with this, his little poem book, a comical compilation of ridiculous rhymes, punny poetic (perhaps pathetic?) prose, laughably ludicrous lyrics and pitiful parodies.This asinine anthology includes a tender, touching, tribute to actress Catherine Zeta Jones, verses which feature fairly credible rhymes for the words 'vasectomy' and 'follicles', others which push the boundaries of 'poetic licence' and, of course, the local literary legend - if only in the mind of the author- that is Shiny Table.More than 30 years worth of witty/witless wordplay has been brought together in the rib-tickling tome that is: From Bard To Verse.

How does a snowplough driver get to work on the morning of a blizzard? How does the non-sick coating stick to the bottom of frying pans? In 1982, the author heard an imponderable question for the first time, and made it his mission to compile, collect and create as many as he could ever since. This comprehensive collection of nearly 1,500 such 'imponderables' is the result. Great for insomniacs, as it gives you some bite-size no-brainers to ponder over on those long, sleepless nights. And for those who have no trouble finding the land of nod, there's sure to be something in here which will cause you sleepless nights too, so you can keep all the insomniacs company. Hopefully there will be something here to make you grin - or grimace - at least once and, if so, then the author, for one, will sleep soundly in the knowledge of a mission accomplished.

Murder and mythology, kidnapping and corporate corruption, love and laughter, thrills and spills, death-defying danger, stunning stunts and the craziest cast of clichéd characters ever entrusted with saving the world. It's all in this incredible tale of very hot curry and its anti-social after effects, an imminent alien invasion, an ancient Greek god, baked beans which glow in the dark, a space-travelling Citroen 2CV and the full, formidable, force of the Waggly Finger. Just remember, flatulence could get you everywhere!

"Life is like a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs..." So says Tom Grey, a man who has been on a down for as long as her cares, or dares, to remember. But as his 50th birthday approaches, he feels a burning need to experience an up again, to feel like he is living, not existing; to make a memory. He needs an adventure, but if he is to achieve all that he wants to, this can't be any old adventure. It has to be the proverbial 'big one', or perhaps, even, the actual Big One. The feel-good factor rides high in this gentle, young-at-heart, British comedy about the misadventures of four friends who are old enough to know better, but who refuse to grow up; unless they can do it without growing old, as they embark on a day trip from Weston-super-Mare to Blackpool in the hope of finding their lost youth at the top of one of Europe's tallest white-knuckle rollercoaster rides.

In 2005, television's most famous time traveller made a triumphant return to the Saturday night schedules, and began a journey which saw him achieve huge worldwide success and popularity. Times have never been so good. But it wasn't always this way. Between 1898 and 2005, the "wilderness years", the future of the beloved medically-monikered maverick, was far from safe. So what happened to prompt the mighty BBC to finally return our intergalactic hero to prime time television? This affectionate parody of one of the longest-running television series in history finally answers one of its greatest mysteries in which is arguably the greatest adventure's of our hero's lives.

Des Measures has broad shoulders but even they are beginning to buckle under the burden he is being forced to bear, through caring for his elderly uncle. Des feels duty-bound and morally obliged, but the trials and tribulations related to his relation are testing him to the very end of his tether, and then some. The old adage says that blood is thicker than water, which makes Des's situation even more dire, since he is related to the old man through marriage, not blood. So when someone suggests that if his uncle was a poorly pet, he would be put to sleep, Des is faced with a crisis of conscience, and his family loyalties are tested to the limits in this black comedy - riddled with puntastic one liners - of the ages. Or of the aged!

When little Lucy spends the first night at her grandparents' house without her own Mummy and Daddy, she feels afraid. So her Daddy gives her a new friend, a lovely bear called Patrick. Patrick waits for Lucy in the 'creepy room' where Lucy has been sleeping. Patrick is Lucy's special sleepover friend. But who will keep Patrick company when Lucy is not there? The answer to this lies inside a dusty old toy cupboard in a dark corner of the room. Before long, everybody has some New Friends.