Böcker av Carlton Mellick III

For over 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with an absurd dystopian tale about the downfalls of modern parenting.The children of the glass generation are the most sensitive, fragile, entitled, spoiled, lazy, selfish little brats that human society has ever produced. Part of this is due to overprotective parenting, but it is mostly due to the fact that these children are literally made out of glass. Nobody knows why, but one day the human species went through a surreal mutation where babies started being born with delicate hollow glass bodies with no flesh or bones or anything holding them together but their thin delicate exoskeleton. They shatter whenever they fall down or are touched too firmly. Even a mother's embrace will cause them to crack open like eggshells. And they are emotionally just as fragile as they are physically, breaking to pieces whenever they become upset or offended or don't get exactly what they want at all times. They expect the world to revolve entirely around their safety and happiness. They demand that our culture adjust to meet their expectations. And it seems as though the rest of human society is more than willing to go to every extreme imaginable in order to accommodate them. Glass Children is the story of how society adapts to a world where the future of the human race is too weak to survive on its own and one man's journey to discover the strength hidden behind their brittle exteriors.

For over 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by splatterpunk legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with a surreal horror story that explores sexual tension and the darkness hidden within the human psyche.Dreams shouldn't kill you. If you die in a dream you should be fine in real life. But that's not what Elias learns once he moves in with a girl named Roe who has the terrible habit of pulling people into her dreams with her whenever she falls asleep. Although she's the nicest, coolest, most attractive woman Elias has ever known while she's awake, Roe is a complete psychopath in her dreams. She will stop at nothing to kill anyone who finds their way into her subconscious worlds. But Elias has no choice but to survive her crazy dreams every night if he ever hopes to make it in a world that has been torn apart by a global pandemic and economic collapse.In the tradition of Nightmare on Elm Street, comes a surreal and violent love story from the author of Neverday, Spider Bunny, and Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes.

For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with a haunting tale of obsession, desperation, loneliness, and depravity.There is a girl who lives in the alley behind the old, abandoned fire station. She is always covered in ash and grime, cuts and bruises on her arms and legs, the skirt of her school uniform caked in dirt and ripped into tatters. Her hair is a mess of dreadlocks the color of rusted metal, growing like vines all the way down to her ankles. She was once human, but not anymore. She's become a feral creature with an undying thirst for blood and revenge. Everyone at school knows to stay away from her. There are rumors that anyone who crosses her path will be murdered and never heard from again, their throats torn out by the long strands of barbed wire that grow from her head like hair. But when she meets a young boy named Yusuke, the first person to ever show her an ounce of human kindness, her desire for revenge turns to feelings of love. And she will do whatever it takes to win his heart, even if she has to rip it from his chest in order to obtain it.From the author of Cannibals of Candyland and The Terrible Thing That Happens, comes a depraved love story inspired by Japanese cult horror films such as Ringu and Ju-on: the Grudge.

From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a gritty urban fantasy unlike anything you've read before.In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction. It ruins lives, tears families apart, and eats away at the fabric of society. Those who cast too much are taken from our world, never to be heard from again. They are sent to a realm known as Hell's Bottom -- a sorcerer ghetto where everyday life is a harsh struggle for survival. Porcelain dolls crawl through the alleys like rats, arcane scientists abduct people from the streets to use in their ungodly experiments, and everyone lives in fear of the aristocratic race of spider people who prey on citizens like vampires. Told in a series of interconnected stories reminiscent of Frank Miller's Sin City and David Lapham's Stray Bullets, Carlton Mellick III's Hungry Bug is an urban fairy tale that focuses on the real life problems that arise within a fantastic world of magic.

A bizarro parody of the movie Tron.Technology has advanced to the level where electronic alternate worlds can actually be created and colonized by humans. The first such world to be developed was originally supposed to be based on the electronic world from the movie Tron, but due to legal complications with the Disney Corporation the developers decided to base it instead on a B-grade ripoff film called Cybernetrix. Although the movie was a failure, the electronic world of Cybernetrix has become so popular that it has changed our culture forever. There is only one problem: the Cybernetrix world and the real world seem to be slowly bleeding together into one reality. Carlton Mellick III's Cybernetrix is a bizarro satire set in a future world where '80s fads never went out of style, where society has completely lost interest in art and creativity, where reality is so damned boring that fantasy is the only thing left worth living for.

Santa isn't the jolly old elf as portrayed in Children's stories. He's a bit more grotesque than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives,his teeth are walnuts, and his body is made of sausages.One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. It is an anti-Christmas spirit that loathes everything having to do with children and Jesus. His name is Frosty the Neo-Nazi Snowman. After Frosty steals his magic bag of presents, Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a peculiar Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone.It's the greatest sausage-spewing, elf-raping, zombie-killing, Transformer-fucking, reindeer-exploding, snowman-battling, adventure-rocking, bizarro Christmas story OF ALL TIME!!!

A bunch of douchebag frat boys get trapped in a cave with subterranean cannibal mutants and try to survive not by using their wits but by following the bro code . . . From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a violent and hilarious B movie in book form. Set in the same woods as Mellick's splatterpunk satire Apeshit, Clusterfuck follows Trent Chesterton, alpha bro, who has come up with what he thinks is a flawless plan to get laid. He invites three hot chicks and his three best bros on a weekend of extreme cave diving in a remote area known as Turtle Mountain, hoping to impress the ladies with his expert caving skills. But things don't quite go as Trent planned. For starters, only one of the three chicks turns out to be remotely hot and she has no interest in him for some inexplicable reason. Then he ends up looking like a total dumbass when everyone learns he's never actually gone caving in his entire life. And to top it all off, he's the one to get blamed once they find themselves lost and trapped deep underground with no way to turn back and no possible chance of rescue. What's a bro to do? Sure he could win some points if he actually tried to save the ladies from the family of unkillable subterranean cannibal mutants hunting them for their flesh, but fuck that. No slam piece is worth that amount of effort. He'd much rather just use them as bait so that he can save himself. It's Tucker Max versus The Descent in this gore-filled comedy for the camp horror fan.

In an alternate version of the future where Hitler had conquered the entire world during WW2 and developed society into his vision of utopia, an SS officer is on a mission to find and exterminate the last imperfect human on Earth. Following his trail leads the young Nazi to a small town hidden in the middle of the desert, a place that has been cut off from society for so long that it has developed its own strange and disturbing culture. Thus begins Mellick's dreamlike adventure that takes a young descendent of Adolf Hitler's design and sends him down the rabbit hole into a world of imperfection and disorder, where even the laws of reality itself don't seem to apply. A tribute to both Franz Kafka and Lewis Carroll, Adolf in Wonderland is a perfect read for fans of the bizarro genre.

Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q.Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror cliché and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written.If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.

It is a survival of the fittest world where humans reproduce like insects, children are the property of corporations, and having a ten-foot brain is a grotesque sexual fetish.Lincoln has just been released into the world by the Georges Organization, a corporation that raises creative types. A Smell, he has little prospect of succeeding as a visual artist. But after he moves into the Henry Building, he meets Luci, the weird and grimy girl who lives across the hall. She is a Sight. She is also the most disgusting woman Lincoln has ever met. Little does he know, she will soon become his muse.Now Luci's boyfriend is threatening to kill Lincoln, two rival corporations are preparing for war, and Luci is dragging him along to discover the truth about the mysterious egg man who lives next door. Only the strongest will survive in this tale of individuality, love, and mutilation.The Egg Man is like an Orwellian version of Eraserhead and The Tenant filtered through Richard Linklater's rotoscope animation. You will not find a weirder or grittier dystopian novel anywhere.

From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a dystopian nightmare of epic proportions."You must never leave the nursery. If you leave, you will certainly die."Tick and Polly have never met their parents before. They live in the same house with them, they dream about them every night, they share the same flesh and blood, yet for some reason their parents have never found the time to visit them even once since they were born. Living in a dark corner of their parents' vast crumbling mansion, the children long for the day when they will finally be held in their mother's loving arms for the first time... But that day seems to never come. They worry their parents have long since forgotten about them. When the machines that provide them with food and water stop functioning, the children are forced to venture out of the nursery to find their parents on their own. But the rest of the house is much larger and stranger than they ever could have imagined. The maze-like hallways are dark and seem to go on forever, deranged creatures lurk in every shadow, and the bodies of long-dead children litter the abandoned storerooms. Every minute out of the nursery is a constant battle for survival. And the deeper into the house they go, the more they must unravel the mysteries surrounding their past and the world they've grown up in, if they ever hope to meet the parents they've always longed to see. Like a survival horror rendition of Flowers in the Attic, Carlton Mellick III's Quicksand House is his most gripping and sincere work to date.

In a city where all humans live inside of plastic bubbles, exotic dancers are being murdered in the rubbery streets by a mysterious stalker known only as Kill Ball.

If they don't act fast, they'll never get out alive...Eight desperate castaways find themselves stranded on a mysterious deserted island. They are surrounded by poisonous blue plants and an ocean made of acid. Strange creatures lurk in the shadows. The ghostly sound of crying babies can be heard on the wind...Once they realize the rescue ships aren't coming, the eight castaways must band together in order to survive in this inhospitable environment. But survival might not be possible. The air they breathe is toxic, there is no shelter from the elements, and the only food they have to consume is the squid-shaped tumors that grow from a mentally disturbed woman's body.From the crazy imagination of bizarro fiction master Carlton Mellick III comes Tumor Fruit-an intense survival story full of eccentric characters, nail-biting suspense, and unpredictable twists. Like LOST on steroids, for the bizarro generation.

It's Naked Lunch meets Dawn of the Dead in this postmodern post-apocalyptic zombie nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III.Hundreds of years have passed since the living dead conquered the Earth. Surviving humans have been reduced to vermin, breeding like cockroaches in ancient fortified high-rise apartment buildings. Those who are still lingering in the shadowy waste have either gone completely insane or become infested with parasites that mutate flesh into steel-string sculptures. There is nothing left to live for, no hope for any kind of future. Only the long wait for death remains. But one man refuses to die just yet. He must first find a wife, somebody who will love him, so that he doesn't have to die alone. And he won't give up until he finds this person, even if he has to build a woman himself using the scrap body parts that litter the hallways. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Steel Breakfast Era is perhaps the most surreal zombie apocalypse story ever told.

Was Jesus actually a time-traveler from the future?The citizens of Ocean City believe this could be the case. Their world has become so technologically advanced that everyone now possesses the ability to walk on water, cure diseases, multiply food, and raise the dead... They are like an entire civilization of Jesus Christs. But when a team of researchers travel back in time to the days of Christ, they discover the past is a lot different than they ever imagined. It is an illogical flatland lacking in dimension and color, a sick-scape of crispy squid people wandering the desert for no apparent reason. And when they meet the Messiah, they learn he is not actually the great man they were expecting him to be. In fact, he isn't exactly a man at all.Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Fishy-fleshed is part pulp science-fiction, part experimental fiction, and 100% bizarro as hell.

A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III.In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don't quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world.Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese "guro" porn.

A weird-as-hell gangster story set in a world where people drive giant mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars. Her name is Psycho June Howard, aka Armadillo Fists, a woman who replaced both of her hands with living armadillos. She was once the most bloodthirsty fighter in the world of illegal underground boxing. But now she is on the run from a group of psychotic gangsters who believe she's responsible for the death of their boss. With the help of a stegosaurus driver named Mr. Fast Awesome-who thinks he is God's gift to women even though he doesn't have any arms or legs-June must do whatever it takes to escape her pursuers, even if she has to kill each and every one of them in the process. Strange, engaging characters, breakneck pacing, and jam-packed with more brilliantly weird concepts than you'll know what to do with-this is bizarro cult author Carlton Mellick III at his best.

Fish-eyed mutants, oceans of insects, and flesh-eating women with hammers for heads. Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author Carlton Mellick III has been pumping out dozens of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books you've probably never heard of... even though you definitely should. Hammer Wives collects six of his most popular novelettes and short stories, including: SIMPLE MACHINESA man discovers that his body is actually a machine run by dozens of miniature clones of himself. RED WORLDA recovering junky must save his 8-year-old brother from a life of prostitution in a surreal version of New York City... a place where street kids mutate into fish-like creatures, the homeless stilt-walk through oceans of insects, and the only colors left visible to the human eye are shades of red. HAMMER WIVESA young man inherits ten eternally youthful wives from an estranged uncle he never knew he had... which wouldn't have been such a bad thing if they didn't have giant hammers for heads or a tendency of bludgeoning people to death for fun, food, or sexual pleasure. LEMON KNIVES 'N' COCKROACHESCockroach-like children survive the zombie apocalypse by hiding between the walls of on old school building. WAR PIGIn a steam-powered underworld, a bloodthirsty pig-man boxer will sacrifice everything to prevent his son from following in his footsteps. THE MAN WITH THE STYROFOAM BRAINThe recently departed reflect on the stupid reasons why they sold their souls to the devil.

The war between humans and toys has come to an end. The toys won. Teddy bears, dollies, and little green soldiers-they've all had enough of you. They're sick of being treated like playthings for spoiled little brats. They have no rights, no property, no hope for a future of any kind. You've left them with no other option-in order to be free, they must exterminate the human race. Julie is a human girl undergoing reconstructive surgery in order to become a stuffed animal. Her plan: to infiltrate enemy lines in order to save her family from the toy death camps. But when an army of plushy soldiers invade the underground bunker where she has taken refuge, Julie will be forced to move forward with her plan despite her transformation being not entirely complete. Like a crazy cult movie in book form, Cuddly Holocaust is yet another tale that proves why Wonderland Book Award-winning author Carlton Mellick III is considered a master of the weird.

Welcome to Suburban Hell...Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife's company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwest-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don't seem to make any sense.After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can't seem to find his way out.Ultra Fuckers is a work of absurd suburban horror in the tradition of Mellick's previous cult hit, The Menstruating Mall.

Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time . . .Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats. Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone.

Shark Sex, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases. Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There's an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that causes your toes to grow larger, one causes you to grow extra breasts on your body, another causes your skin to grow long metal spikes, and there's an especially annoying STD that causes you to ejaculate miniature eyeballs. Tonight is Share Your STD Night at the Demon Seed Swingers Club. Although most members of society fear the idea of contracting these diseases, there are some underground deviants who embrace them. They believe the diseases make them strange, unique, and beautiful. So they come together once a month to trade their wonderful STDs with each other in a surreal, fantastical orgy. However, tonight will not be like other nights. There's a new disease spreading through the sex club, a disease that causes people to become rabid bloodthirsty killing machines. As the infected rampage through the Demon Seed, the survivors realize there's only one thing they can do to survive the night: turn their grotesque STDs into deadly super weapons. Also featuring the short stories: "Candy-Coated" - A buff dude with a lollipop for a head has a hard time picking up the laydaaays due to all of the bearded truckers who keep trying to lick his head. "Ear Cat" - A Kitty of the Month Club selection gone horribly, horribly wrong. "City Hobgoblins" - A member of a punk rock band falls in love with a shark-like creature. (a prequel to the cult novel Satan Burger) "Porno in August" - A group of porn actors find themselves floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to remember who they are or why they are there. (Chosen for The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror)

The Bitches are back . . .They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland.Following his 2009 Wonderland Book Award-winning novel, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Carlton Mellick III returns with Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands, a collection of three interconnected novellas that take place before, during, and after the events of the first book. Including: BARBARIAN BEAST BABES OF THE BADLANDSTalon and a party of warrior biker women must hunt down a pack of giant wolves that have gone rabid. HORRENDOUS HORROR OF THE HATEFUL HAMBURGLARA band of mutant soldiers led by the deadly samurai, Hamburglar, investigates an outpost deep in the wasteland that has become plagued by a horde of deranged undead killing machines. FEROCIOUS FEMALE FURRIES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONEAfter Talon is infected with a strange mind-killing parasite, Slayer must lead a party of wolf women into the Forbidden Zone in order to find a cure.

Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these ten people cannot pry themselves away from their shopping miasma. The mall closes, and they won't leave. Days pass, and they're still there, eating meals in the food court and sleeping in department store bedroom displays. Then they begin to die off, one by one, murdered by a mysterious killer, and they still won't allow themselves to escape.

In this town, everyone's a bottom feeder ...Five desperate criminals are robbing one of the last remaining banks in Freedom City, a town devastated by the previous nuclear war. But these are no ordinary criminals. They are members of the House of Cards, an organization designed to help the less fortunate citizens of the city. In a place where the poor are separated from the rich, jobs are as scarce as clean water, and even the doctors are as corrupt as the politicians, the House of Cards are a final beacon of hope in an otherwise hopeless world. Featuring: radiation fetishists, balloon people, mutant crabs, sail-bike road warriors, and a love affair between a woman and an H-Bomb. This is one mean asshole of a city.Welcome to Crab Town.

Battle Royale meets Return of the Living Dead in this post-apocalyptic action adventureTwenty people wake to find themselves in a boarded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there's only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight off the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other. Zombies and Shit is Mellick's craziest book to date. A campy, trashy, punk rock gore fest that is as funny as it is brutal, as sad as it is strange. An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride that twists the zombie genre into something you've never seen before.

These days, if you want to run a successful company . . . you're going to need a lot of ninjas.Neo Tokyo, California is a city built so high that none of its residents have ever seen the ground. It is a place where citizens cosmetically alter their bodies to look like Japanese anime characters. It is a place where ninja battles determine the fate of corporate business ventures. It is the home of Basu - a 700 pound killing machine who uses his grotesque excess weight as a deadly weapon. In this city, there is no ninja more deadly than Basu. He's well-trained, well-armed, and well-fed. And if you work for one of his competitors, he's coming to kill you.The Morbidly Obese Ninja is like anime in written form. Dark, funny, violent, and subtly disturbing. From the award-winning author of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, The Haunted Vagina, and Satan Burger.

MERMAID [mur-meyd] noun -- a rare species of fish evolved to resemble the appearance of a woman in order to attract male human prey.Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren't able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet.The only thing standing between you and the ravenous sea women is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these "feeder humans" are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids' new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food.Like a Lovecraftian version of David Lynch's Twin Peaks, Village of the Mermaids is a dystopian mystery for the bizarro fiction fan. It proves, once again, how cult author Carlton Mellick III brings the weird to a whole new level.

A band of hermaphrodite gunslingers fight for their lives in a desert infested with crispy black demons. Along with a motley collection of survivors (including a sex-crazed female samurai modified to resemble a bipedal stegosaurus) they take refuge in the only safe haven left: Telos . . . a strange town near the end of the world, where the citizens have televisions instead of heads.

In a world made out of meat, a socially-obsessive monophobic man finds himself to be the last human being on the face of the planet. Desperate for social interaction, he explores the landscape of flesh and blood, teeth and tongue, trying to befriend any strange creature or community that he comes across.